![]() ![]() So what does admiration look like in a marriage? This is a question best asked to the man in your life. Even though a woman does not need a man for survival, she certainly needs him for the relationship to survive. So the first step is working toward eliminating criticism of your partner. But it goes right to the core of the man’s need for admiration. In order to be successful at preventing affairs, we have to be aware of and able to navigate this difference between needs among men and women.Ĭriticism is the worst offender. This is one need in marriage that is not acceptable to get met elsewhere. So if a woman is not feeling emotionally fulfilled in her marriage, she will often stop having sex. Typically women are the opposite, they need to feel emotionally connected (usually through thoughtful acts and conversation) before they want to or are inspired to engage in sex. But for many men, it is through sex that they feel emotionally connected, admired and desired. They dismiss it as him “caring about one thing” or having a “one track mind”. Many women who come into my counseling office don’t take men’s need for sex seriously. But in examining what makes marriage successful, we have to be aware of and acknowledge the needs of both partners. Men bear responsibility here as well, they have a choice and certainly an affair doesn’t have to be one of them. The husband is not feeling admired in the relationship and he becomes vulnerable when a woman at work, or female friend shows that admiration. When a lot of couples come to me for help after an affair, I see this pattern occurring. Men put forth effort and it isn’t recognized or it is criticized as not being good enough.Īffairs occur for many different reasons and I am only touching on one of them here. ![]() I see problems occur when women become critical toward their partner because he is not fulfilling emotional needs or needs for help around the home. When women are too independent and don’t “need” their partner for anything, men can become lost in where their place is. Men want to feel useful, purposeful and admired for their use and purpose. Many have lost their place in their marriage. This is a wonderful thing, but men are suffering in many marriages because of it. Women in our culture have become independent and self-sufficient. ![]()
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